Today is Not The Day
I was feeling very hopeful at the beginning of the year. I started some healthy habits in mid-December and I have been feeling really good about myself and it lasted until some time last week. I was going out, seeing friends, exercising, and starting a new hobby, it was amazing.
Then came the “time of the month”. I eat tons of food (a lot more than I should), and I wasn’t being mindful of basically everything that I do. If doesn’t feel great. I really hate the package that came together with being a woman. The period, the cramps, the complex feelings, and thoughts — it’s not great.
Yesterday, I fell asleep after finishing work and woke up at weird hours after having a bad dream that I barely remember. The fatigue lasts until now, and all I want to do is just eat and lay down. Nothing else.
But here I am, writing for myself because I have made a promise to do so. I wish I can write and finish my other draft that has more “positive value” or something that is more “inspirational”, but I guess today is just not the day.
Today is not the day I am feeling my best and super inspired. Today is the day I am not feeling great about myself and I do what I need to do — let the thoughts out.
I know that this year is not going to be easy, but I know that my goal is not to be perfect, it’s to make progress. And showing up today to write is one step closer to my goal.
PS: If you’re not feeling good today and not feeling like yourself, it’s okay. Take a rest, you need it. Remember what they said, “It’s a bad day, not a bad life”. Just sit back and relax for now.
Karanganyar, 12 January 2023
